Coming Home
by Icestorm51
Summary: Dimitri left with Tasha, excepting her offer. But five years later, Tasha is attacked and killed. He finds Rose in a depressed state and it is up to him help her get better. Lemons, limes, fluff and... angst? Back on track! XD
1. Chapter 1

**I'm so bad. I'm going back on my word _again_. It's starting to piss even _me_ off! That's frickin hard to do! I keep telling myself: do NOT start a new story. But I couldn't resist. I was sitting in a café with my mom and grandma, listening to my aunt's friend sing with her husband for the music night. Ugh. But anyway, I was really bored and I saw someone who came in who, in my mind, looked a lot like Dimitri. I was all depressed, not wanting to be there and I looked up at the moment he did and we stared at each other for a while before he went to go sit down. It's needless to say that he was absolutely gorgeous. But instead of being all depressed, I decided to come up with story ideas. And I came up with this. And my favorite part of the story is that Dimitri had a better sense of humor. Well, Tasha has to good for _something._**

**I'm really sorry about making you wait further still for _Blood Promise_, _It's Not Our Fault, _and _Blissful Sleep. _I swear to you, if each of those stories and this one do not come out with another chapter in the next month, I will give you my name and address and you can hunt me down and kill me slowly.**

**Thank you for being so awesome! I really wish I was kinder to you guys. And do any of my readers know how to play an acoustic guitar or piano? I wrote a song without a clue about how to write the actual music. So I need your help!**

**Love, Zoë.**

Bring Me To Life, Evanescence

_How can you see into my eyes life open doors?_

_Leading you down into my core_

_Where I've become so numb_

_Without a soul_

_My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold_

_Until you find it there and lead it back home_

_(Wake me up)_

_Wake me up inside_

_(Can't wake up)_

_Wake me up inside_

_(Save me)_

_Call my name and save me from the dark_

_(Wake me up)_

_Bid my blood to run_

_(Can't wake up)_

_Before I come undone_

_(Save me)_

_Save me from the nothing I've become_

_Now that I know what I'm without_

_You can't just leave me_

_Breathe into me and make me real_

_Bring me to life_

_(Wake me up)_

_Wake me up inside_

_(Can't wake up)_

_Wake me up inside_

_(Save me)_

_Call my name and save me from the dark_

_(Wake me up)_

_Bid my blood to run_

_(Can't wake up)_

_Before I come undone_

_(Save me)_

_Save me from the nothing I've become_

_Bring me to life_

_I've been living a lie_

_There is nothing inside_

_Bring me to life_

_Frozen inside without your touch_

_Without your love darling_

_Only you are the life among the dead_

_All this time I can't believe I couldn't see_

_Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me_

_I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems_

_Got to open my eyes to everything_

_Without a thought_

_Without a voice_

_Without a soul_

_Don't let me die here_

_There must be something more_

_Bring me to life_

_(Wake me up)_

_Wake me up inside_

_(Can't wake up)_

_Wake me up inside_

_(Save me)_

_Call my name and save me from the dark_

_(Wake me up)_

_Bid my blood to run_

_(Can't wake up)_

_Before I come undone_

_(Save me)_

_Save me from the nothing I've become_

_Bring me to life_

_I've been living a lie_

_There is nothing inside_

_Bring me to life_

Dimitri's Point Of View

It sucks when you realize that your still in love with the girl you left five years ago for another woman. It really sucks.

Really.

So when I saw Rose sitting there in the café, her head down and tears falling from her face, it was only natural that I worried. She had been my student for over half a year and my almost lover from the lust spell of Viktor Dashkov. I had kissed her when I told her I was leaving. I had kissed her at the Easter visit Tasha had dragged me to. I wanted to kiss her now.

In the restaurant next door, I saw Christian and Princess Vasilisa, each with an instrument in hand with Vasilisa singing, ending a song just as I walked through the door. She was bowing, her hair flipping over her back. I imagined that every time the door opened, she would have to step back a foot to avoid being hit in the face. I carefully slipped through, not opening it that wide, and turned to both of them.

Vasilisa's eyes widened considerably and Christian raised an eyebrow. The princess threw her eyes around me and kissed each cheek. I shook Christian's hand quickly before we actually said any words.

"Guardian Belikov! How are you? Where've you and Tasha been?" The princess asked.

My heart sank instantly. I didn't want to talk about Tasha, but Christian deserved an explanation. I took and deep breath and closed my eyes. I cracked my index finger of my left hand, an annoying habit I had run into every time Tasha had tried to convince me to sleep with her.

"Tasha was killed. She had gotten another guardian since she told me to go on vacation for a while. I went to my family in Russia and three days later, I got a call telling me that the guardian who she had hired had murdered her. They think it was because he didn't believe the moroi should fight; he hasn't been found."

Christian stared at me with wide eyes and Vasilisa started sobbing into his chest.

"Are you okay?" Christian asked me.

I nodded. "Understand that she was my friend as well as my charge. I will mourn for her as well, and I hope that you find everything okay," I said slowly, watching wetness form in his eyes. He shook it away.

"Thank you, Belikov. We have to go now, though, I think." He sighed and looked at the princess attached to his chest. "I think Rose will manage getting home. She's on a date next door at Café Mozart, so I think you should stop by to say hello; she would like that."

I raised an eyebrow. Rose had definitely _not_ been with anybody. Stood up? Who would want to stand _her _up? She's beautiful and smart and strong and…

I was snapped back to the present when Christian banged his guitar on my knee.

"Oh, sorry man. We'll see you soon, okay?" He managed with Vasilisa attacking him. I nodded. A dhampir I vaguely recognized from the academy followed them and took Vasilisa's instrument on the way.

I followed them out but they headed across the street while I went to the left, hesitantly going into the café. Rose was sitting by a window with her head leaned up against the glass and tears streaming down her face. I passed the 'Please wait to be seated' sign and to her table. I silently pulled out a chair and sat down, waiting for her to look up. After about five minutes, I couldn't take it anymore.

"Tell me the name of the guy who stood you up and I swear that I will put his nose in his brain," I said seriously.

She snapped her head up to look at me and burst into tears yet again, biting her lip so hard that it bled. A couple people from other tables looked at her but I tried to ignore them, for her sake.

"Dimitri…" She whispered. "Dimitri, what are you doing here?"

I smiled sheepishly. "I have nowhere else to go."

She stayed absolutely still besides the tears rolling down her cheeks for at least a minute.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Tasha was killed. Murdered. I no longer have a charge, so I thought I would come home to see… you."

She snorted. "Yeah, I'm your last resort. Your girlfriend dies so you come running to me to see if can find at least one forth of the pleasure she gave you. Real mature."

"Rose, I was never in a relationship with Tasha," I explained, getting more frustrated with every word she said.

She looked up at me with a thoughtful face. "Then why did you leave with her?"

"Because I thought it would be for the best… apparently, I was wrong. But I never left to be her boyfriend, lover or husband. I never wanted a child with her, never wanted anything with her other than to be her friend. The only person who I have had those feelings for… well, she's perfect."

She glared at me from under her tear coated eyelashes. "Who is this chick? Did you meet her while you were with Tasha?"

I chuckled. She didn't get it. "Well, she's a lot shorter than me. About your height, actually. She's got dark brown hair, a dangerous personality and an even more dangerous sense of humor."

"Where did you meet her?"

"Oregon. We got into a fight when we first met."

"What's her name?"

"Rosemarie Hathaway."

She stared at me for a second longer, her glare turning into a small grimace.

"Do you love this girl?"

"Always. From the moment I saw her first, being so willing to help her friend, I knew I would love her eventually. That time has come," I said, feeling slightly embarrassed, though, I would never admit that.

"I think she loves you to," she said, biting her lip again. "No, I _know _she loves you." I grabbed her hand that was lying on the table and squeezed it lightly, wanting to kiss her.

"Now, tell me who stood you up," I demanded.

She shook her head. "Like you said, you'll push his nose up into his brain. We can't have that, can we?" She bit her index finger lightly. "Besides, this isn't the first time this has happened."

"Than why were you crying?"

She hesitated before answering. "Every time this happens, I feel a little more unwanted. Lissa has become so independent lately, bent on becoming a singer, and Eddie and Christian have become great friends. I don't have a lot of other people besides them. Mia still lives at court, but we're not great friends and she's going out with Eddie. Mason was my only real friend beside him and… yeah."

I nodded slowly, frowning. Another tear fell from her face and I reached up to wipe it away. Her skin was so soft, just as I'd remembered it.

"It's okay, Roza. Did you ever get your _molnija _marks?" Or did you refuse them?"

She captured her mangled lip in her teeth again; I had to break her out of that. "In the end, I thought it was best that I got them. Since you last saw me, I got two of the stars from the battle, and two other marks from random strigoi," she said quietly.

I smiled widely, proud of how I had influenced her. "So that's four regular marks and two battle marks? That's really good for a guardian your age. I only have seven." I shrugged.

She whispered something under her breath. I tried to pick up on it but I couldn't.

"And what about Christian? Did they let him get anything?" I asked, not really curious but wanting to hear her voice.

She smiled. "They wouldn't let him get any marks so they gave him a certificate instead. It's quite hilarious. He hung it on the wall in their living room. Every time someone comes over, he talk about it even if they've heard the story. It's irritating. Even Liss get's annoyed by it. Did you know they got married?"

Dimitri raised his eyebrows. "Really? Why weren't Tasha and I invited?"

"You both were and only she came. She said you were sick and needed to rest." I frowned. "Was she lying?"

I bit my tongue in frustration. "Yes, yes she was. The only time she went away without me, she told me she was visiting her dying grandmother and didn't want me there to see her suffer."

She snarled. "She was trying to keep you away from me!"

"I think so, yes," I confirmed. It angered me too, but I kept it better concealed than she did.

Just then, a guy came bursting through the door, running to our table. He looked at me for a moment before turning to Rose.

"I'm _so_ sorry I'm late, Rose!"

"It's an hour after you were supposed to be here," she growled. "You could have called, or at least sent a text."

"Well, I'm here now," he affirmed. He looked at me and gave me a glare that clearly said, 'You're in my seat, so get out now before I kick your ass.'

I laughed out loud. "You think that changes anything? You're late, you asshole. Never be late for a date. If you are, they'll never go out with you again. Not that I would let her go out with _you,_ anyway."

I looked the guy over. He was obviously human, to clumsy to be a dhampir and too tan to be a moroi. He was tall and lanky with dark hair and eyes. He looked like he wanted to stab me slowly. I didn't blame him.

I laughed again and stood. It was then that he realized that he was talking to a really tall, really ripped, and really pissed off Russian guy. I towered over him by at least a head. I noticed his Adam's apple bob with a swallow and he quickly glanced at Rose.

"Can you tell your big muscled friend to calm down a little and be reasonable? I _am _her date after all," he said, smirking.

He must have actually thought this date would carry on.

Rose laughed too. "Get out of here, Andrew. If you want to live, I'd seriously consider moving out-of-state."

"Who's forcing me?"

"Nobody. I'm just making a suggestion," she chuckled, standing up and grabbing onto my biceps that were barely covered by my black t-shirt. I put an arm around her waist, loving the feel of it there, realizing that I had never before had a chance to do this with her. Be with her. Not terrorize humans. You know.

"Get out of here, Andrew," I said slowly.

He nodded slowly, quickly backing up and running out the door. I laughed loudly and Rose leaned against my shoulder, chuckling.

"Come on, Roza. Let's go take a walk."

She nodded, inhaling deeply.

We left the café and started walking along, headed to the only landmark I knew in the state; the Mamaroneck Harbor.

We didn't talk but she sighed every once in a while. I tightened my grip on her waist and leaned my head on hers. The Harbor eventually came into sight, high tide, with the boats floating on the top. The baseball park was busy, the fall fair going off with a bang. There was a Ferris wheel and everything. Rose smiled and sighed again.

"I wish I could have done that type of stuff when I was younger. I always read about kids having their first kisses at fairs and stuff. After my first kiss, the guy threw up on my shirt and I had to give him a ride home."

I laughed. "My first kiss… Let's see. I think my first kiss was after Homecoming. The girl had asked me to go, and as a gentleman, I said yes. So, basically, my first kiss was forced."

She broke out in hysterical laughter. She had to release me to clutch her stomach and fell to the ground laughing. It really wasn't that funny, or so I thought.

But the sight of her laughing made me laugh. I doubled over with her, landing in the grass. I slid my arm under her waist and dragged her closer to me.

"Roza," I whispered once she calmed down a little. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Dimitri." I leaned in, my forehead touching hers. Her nose was pressed against mine, sending electric shocks through me. I twisted a little to the right, tilting her lips toward mine. We were centimeters apart and her breathing became erratic and ragged. I finally leaned in that last little bit and brushed my lips against hers. She deepened the kiss, skimming her tongue against my lower lip and I made my tongue meet her there. She froze for a minute before wrapping her arms around my neck and I tightened my hold on her waist. Our tongues danced together gracefully as I pressed myself closer to her.

When I finally broke away to let her breathe, she gasped uncontrollably and curled into my chest. My arousal was prominent through my jeans but she didn't seem to notice. I smiled. I was with my Roza again.

"Get a room, you fucking teenagers!" Somebody called from a little while off. I smiled again.

"We're not teenagers," I muttered. "I'm twenty-nine."

"And I'm twenty-two."

I stared at her in shock. "Really?"

She nodded.

I shook my head. "In my head, I still think of you as the seventeen year old I brought home from Portland all those years ago," I confessed.

She laughed. "I'm not a little kid anymore."

"I know," I whispered. "You're not a little girl. You're my big girl."

"Yours?" She questioned.

"Always."

**Did you like it? Please be honest when you review!**

**And don't forget my request about the music! I could send you a tune and lyrics and you could put it to music if you wanted to. Thanks for your cooperation and I'm really sorry about my ongoing obsession with starting new stories. I **_**promise**_** (I will make a Blood Promise if I have to) that I will actually work on this one and I'll try to work on the other's too.**

**Love, Zoë.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello, my people, I is back again. I just wanted to point out the songs that go with each chapter… I'm not just putting random crap up here! You know. But anyway, I'm still waiting for a song writer! And I hope you like this chapter!**

**Yeah, and, P.S., this chapter gets kind of confusing with the names of towns and stuff. Let me fill you in. Larchmont is a little village in the Town Of Mamaroneck about a half and hour away from New York city. The beginning of the story takes place in Mamaroneck when they're in Café Mozart (yeah, I know, I used the name in my other story, but whatever) and moves to Larchmont where Lissa and Christian live, in Larchmont Gardens. I live two blocks to the left on the Weaver/Palmer side… why am I telling you this? Oh well. Now you know the setting.**

**Love, Zoë.**

Mr. Brightside_, _The Killers

I'm coming out of my cage  
And I ve been doing just fine  
Gotta gotta gotta be down  
Because I want it all  
It started out with a kiss  
How did it end up like this  
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss  
Now I m falling asleep  
And she s calling a cab  
While he s having a smoke  
And she s taking a drag  
Now they re going to bed  
And my stomach is sick  
And it s all in my head  
But she s touching his chest  
Now, he takes off her dress  
Now, let me go

I just can t look its killing me  
And taking control  
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea  
Swimming through sick lullabies  
Choking on your alibis  
But it s just the price I pay  
Destiny is calling me  
Open up my eager eyes  
Cause I m Mr Brightside

I m coming out of my cage  
And I ve been doing just fine  
Gotta gotta gotta be down  
Because I want it all  
It started out with a kiss  
How did it end up like this  
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss  
Now I m falling asleep  
And she s calling a cab  
While he s having a smoke  
And she s taking a drag  
Now they re going to bed  
And my stomach is sick  
And it s all in my head  
But she s touching his chest  
Now, he takes off her dress  
Now, let me go

I just can t look its killing me  
And taking control  
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea  
Swimming through sick lullabies  
Choking on your alibi  
But it s just the price I pay  
Destiny is calling me  
Open up my eager eyes  
Cause I m Mr Brightside

I never...  
I never...  
I never...

Adrian's Point Of View

I sat up, a cold sweat covering my face and fell back as immediately as I sat up. I groaned. Another dream. They were getting extremely annoying. I just _didn't_ need to see Rose making out with Dimitri. To make things worse, I had actually _seen _him yesterday. What the hell was he doing in New York? Even worse, he had been with her!

Why the hell would she forgive him after all he had done to her? She fell in love with him and he left her! Of _course_, he had to come back for a few days and claim her once again. But I had thought he was gone for good when he left that time.

I tried reaching out to Rose's dreams, but she was awake, probably with the ass.

I sighed and rolled over, dragging my duvet with me. She didn't love me anyway. We had tried. We went on three dates, all of them complete failures. She told me that as long as she loved Dimitri, it wouldn't work between us. I told her to come back if she ever started getting over him. She never did.

I cussed at the wall. I wouldn't be able to sleep now. I threw off the covers and grabbed my robe from the floor. I traveled slowly to my kitchen and grabbed a bottle of Vox from the cabinet. I downed a gulp and hissed at the alcohol. I hadn't drank in so long.

I took another gulp and went to sit on the couch. I turned on the stereo and hissed once again, not from the alcohol but from the song. Mr. Brightside, the story of my _fucking_ life. I sang along anyway.

Rose's Point Of View

I rolled over, my hands searching for his body. The revelation was still pounding in my chest and I smiled groggily. The smile faded quickly when I realized he wasn't here. I sat up slowly, scanning the room. My eyes finally landed on him, sitting in an armchair in the corner by my closet. He was clothed, which I was sincerely disappointed about. When I had taken his shirt off last night, I had expected it to _stay_ off.

My dream came back to me as he smiled, his eyes taking in my ruffled form. The dream was amazing, and he had decided to sleep with me instead of being the stubborn ass he was and just slept in my bed.

I smiled in return and bit my lip. I wanted to kiss him, but I could only imagine what my breath smelled like and I could almost see mess of hair that laid on my shoulders. I tried to fix it quickly but he shook his head.

He stood. My breath caught in my throat when I noticed how muscular he was under his t-shirt. Not that he hadn't been muscular before. He walked over to me and placed a hand on either side of my face.

"Good morning, Roza," he said, kissing me full on. I tried not to breathe, but he noticed and released me. A chuckle came from his lips as he kissed the top of my head. "Good morning, haystack."

I laughed, wrapping my arms around his back. I buried my face in his chest and inhaled deeply, taking in all of his scent that I could.

"What are we doing today?" He asked.

"Guarding Lissa," I said, frowning. I'd rather be burning carbs… the fun way.

"Right, I knew that," he said, making it obvious that he forgot. He frowned too, licking his lips thoughtfully. The simple motion turned me on so much and he didn't even realize he was doing it. I had to pull away to stop myself from throwing him to the ground and tearing all of his clothes off in a frenzy of hands and tongues.

He chuckled. "I haven't guarded anyone in a long time."

"How long ago did Tasha…" I didn't have to finish.

"Three months. But it took me a long time to figure out where you guys were. Why New York?"

I smiled at a memory. "Liss wanted to see the Big Apple. When she found out it was dirty, she took us to the suburbs immediately. When we asked where we were going, she told us to shut up and stay that way. Eventually, we stopped here in Larchmont for a pit stop and she loved it. Adrian didn't want to live in the same building so he lives across the street in Mamaroneck Gardens."

Dimitri nodded, scowling when I mentioned Adrian. I put my hand on his chest, warning him.

"Don't worry about Adrian. I think he's gotten over me," I said quietly.

Dimitri shook his head. "I know him better than that. His father, Jack, was the same way. Taking every blood whore who came his way in for a few days and then letting them leave with either an STD or an unborn child."

I giggled. "Dimitri, Adrian hasn't been with a girl since you left."

"That doesn't prove that he's over you. It just proves that he's willing to give everything up for you, that one time, then he would dump you on the sidewalk and never look your way again."

I considered for a moment. "You're probably right," I sighed. "It's happened before," I muttered, wishing I could take it back.

His head snapped up, just like I knew it would. "Roza, who did it? Just tell me so I can go break their necks."

I shook my head. "I have to stop dating humans. Their too fragile."

He chuckled slightly but didn't let it drop. "Roza, you have to take better care of yourself. You have to be careful about who you sleep with, who you go out with, and how you do it. I just want you to be with the right person."

I smiled slightly. "I already am."

His frown dissolved, but a smile didn't replace it. He looked at me thoughtfully before cupping my face gently and tilting my head up to reach his. He opened his lips slightly and I followed his movements. He pressed his open mouth against mine and I slipped my tongue into his mouth before he could object. He tangled his tongue with mine carefully but still passionately. I molded my body to his and fisted his hair with one hand and grabbed his shirt with the other.

"Rose!" I heard a call, followed by a banging on my door. I groaned.

"What, Lissa?" I growled.

"Breakfast is ready! I made eggs Florentine!" I sighed. She knew it was my favorite.

"Uh, Liss, how much did you make?"

"Enough," she grunted.

"Are you sure? I think someone might be joining us," I said quietly, but still loud enough to hear.

"Who? Did you bring that Andrew guy home?"

I cussed. "Ew, no way. You'll see in a minute."

She stayed silent and then finally walked away and down the staircase.

I frowned. "Hm. This should be interesting."

He frowned right along with me. "I wonder how Christian is going to be this morning. I mean, his only aunt, dead. Sucks, really," he said, sort of genuinely.

I shrugged. "He'll get over it. He hasn't seen her since their wedding so it can't be _that_ hard for him." I wrapped my arms around his neck. "They can wait a couple of minutes."

His neck twitched to the side and he closed his eyes. I smiled in satisfaction and he pressed his lips to my neck, placing open mouthed kisses down to my shoulder. I shuddered and ran my fingers through his long, brown hair. He sighed heavily and placed his hands a little above my waist.

"You know, it's been a really long time since I've done anything like this," he said softly.

"What do you mean? We haven't done anything yet," I giggled.

He placed his lips back on my neck. "No, not just that," he murmured against my skin. "Held someone like this… kissed anyone like this… the last time was you, Roza."

I placed my cheek on his head and sighed. "We should probably go downstairs."

He paused for a moment before nodding and lifting me off his lap. He sighed.

"Ty tak nuzshna mne…" he whispered.

I frowned. I still didn't know how to speak Russian, no matter how hard I tried. I ran a hand over his chest and laid a cheek there.

"What does that mean?" I asked.

He winced. "If I told you, you'd be mad at me," he whispered seriously.

This made me frown even more. "No, I'll be angry if you _don't_ tell me."

He flinched. "I was… pledging me need. For you. In Russian. You know," he said quietly.

My frown was lifted as soon as he said it and a smile replaced it. "I want you too, Dimitri. I love you, I want you, I need you, forever."

He chuckled. "Don't be so fast to say that after five years of not seeing me at all."

_But it's true_.

I wanted to say those words, but I just gave him a light peck instead. "Let's go see Lissa and Christian."

I took his hand and led him out of the room and down the stairs. As soon as we entered the room, Lissa and Christian looked over, the eyes wide and their mouths agape in shock.

"You brought home Guardian Belikov?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! I love all the awesome reviews! I get especially excited when there's a really long one (hint, hint!) and I usually check them during class so when I start giggling, my English teacher thinks I've gone mad. I do to actually. Who cares about what so random stranger thinks about my crap? I DO!**

**So, anyway, I KNOW must of you read all my other stories, but then I checked the reviews and they're so low! It makes me disappointed. Seriously. SO READ, BASTARDS! (Excuse my French!) No, but seriously. Read.**

**-Zoë**

**P.S., thank you, whatever your name is for the puppy thing. I use that. :D**

**And also, this chapter is pretty messed up. Just warning you. And ignore the disturbing lyrics.**

**AND (sorry about this) the field that their sitting and fencing on in the chapter has held some bad memories of mine. It was where I got hit in the neck in lacrosse and had to sit out of the season, had my first bought of Encephalitis, had my first asthma attack, where my boyfriend broke up with me and where I broke my ankle. Lovely, isn't it? I keep going back.**

Rape Me, Nirvana

Rape me

Rape me, my friend

Rape me

Rape me again

I'm not the only one [4x]

Hate me

Do it again and again

Waste me

Rape me, my friend.

I'm not the only one [4x]

My favorite inside source

I'll kiss your open sores

I appreciate your concern

You're gonna stink and burn

Rape me

Rape me, my friend

Rape me

Rape me, again

I'm not the only one [4x]

Rape me [9x]

DPOV

I glanced awkwardly around the room. The kid that followed Vasilisa and Christian out of the café last night was there, and they were all gaping at us. I felt they had a right to, although, I still did feel really out of place.

"Rose, can I see you in the bathroom for a second?" The princess hissed.

Christian frowned. "The bathroom? I thought maybe-"

"No! Just shut it, Christian!"

He blushed furiously and I suddenly felt bad for the guy.

But then again, when he said, "You brought Guardian Belikov home?" I felt like a puppy that Rose had brought home and wanted to keep. I was no puppy.

Vasilisa pulled Rose into the bathroom in the room next to the kitchen and started whispering furiously. I could only catch a few things.

"…Sleep with him?"

"No… said no. But I-"

"Rose… stupid! He… with Tasha!"

"Lissa, I swear… No! You're so incompetent…"

I looked at the remaining people in the kitchen and almost blushed.

The other boy walked up to me and stuck out his hand. "Eddie Castille. I went to the academy and graduated the year before you left."

I smiled and took his hand. "That's right! I remember you, now!" He was Mason Ashford's best friend before he died. He was a stupid kid anyway. "Guardian Christian, now?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I really didn't have anything else to do."

Christian snorted. "Say that again and you're fired."

"Oh, come on. You know I didn't need this job."

I looked at him questioningly.

His eyes took on a depressed look quickly and I wished I hadn't done anything.

"Both my parents got into a car accident when they were driving to the academy. I got their insurance money and house and car and… everything."

I nodded sympathetically but didn't say any more. It wasn't my business.

Just then, Rose burst through the door with a frustrated look on her face.

"I'm calling Hector and taking the day off," she announced.

"Fine!" Lissa said loudly.

Christian flinched and backed away when she came at him.

Before I could do anything, Rose took my hand, threw my jacket at me and we walked out the door. We took and elevator downstairs and walked down the street quickly until we got to a small parking lot behind the building. She jumped into the drivers seat of a black Mercedes and waited until I had gotten in the passengers side before taking off. She called the Hector dude and told him to guard Lissa today.

She went in the opposite direction we came from last night and turned to the right. We passed a gas station before going right again, then left. She pulled into a parking lot of what looked like a high school and got out. I followed her quickly to try and see what was going on, but she ignored me and opened the trunk. She handed my a duffle bag and grabbed another one herself.

"Go change in there," she growled, pointing to a small building that looked like it had no use. But I headed in that direction, not really knowing what she wanted to do.

When I got there, I realized it was just a bathroom and I changed into a rubbery white full-body suit with a head mask. I realized what this was. Fencing. I grinned and carried the mask out to the car.

She stood there, wearing my exact outfit and motioned with her hand to follow her. She already had her mask on and was opening the gate to a slanted soccer field. I followed and brought the bag with me.

She dropped her own duffle on the ground and shuffled through it until she pulled out her sword and water bottle. She pulled up her mask to take a sip of her water but then pulled it down again. She dropped the bottle and motioned me forward. I grabbed my sword and took a stance.

We fought for what seems like hours before I finally fell backwards, drenched in sweat. She pulled back her face mask and tears were streaming down her face. I quickly stood up and pulled her into my arms.

"What's wrong, Roza? Are you hurt?"

She shook her head slowly. "I'm sorry, Dimitri… I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for winning?" I questioned curiously. "You don't have to be sorry because you beat me."

She cried harder. "No, Dimitri. Last night, I didn't tell you anything. I didn't tell you what you're dealing with when you're with me."

I kissed the top of her head as she cried into my chest. "Roza, I can deal with-"

"No, Dimitri! You can't! I bet you can't. I'm messed up. I…" She took a deep breath in but couldn't stop trembling.

"Then tell me, Roza," I said gently. "Start from the beginning."

She looked over at the tree our stuff was beneath and led me there. I slid down the bark and pulled her into my lap, still sweating uncontrollably.

I waited for what seemed like years before she finally calmed down enough to talk.

"I quit, Dimitri. I left the academy after you came back for Easter. I went to Los Angeles and found a small blood whore community and stayed there. I was a blood whore, Dimitri. I lost my virginity to a man who never told me his name." She cried into my chest again before continuing. "After six months, I realized that's not what I wanted anymore. I moved out to Florida and when I couldn't take the lack of moroi drugs in my system, I went back, but they were gone. I stayed in LA and found a bunch of humans. They were drunk and on drugs and offered me coke… I took it. I stayed with them for a while but left after a while, still on the drugs. I was an addict, and I couldn't control it."

I pulled her closer to me and let a tear fall for her.

"One day, I was drunk, strung out and hungry. I had never found a place to stay so I lived on the streets mostly. But I was so disoriented… I didn't see when he came up to me. Without realizing it until later, I was raped. This happened repeatedly after that, maybe once a months. It was worse than not knowing their names. This was not knowing what they looked like or if they were clean or had some disease. It was terrible. But I didn't mind, only because I hadn't had sex in forever. To get it, I was happy to do anything they wanted."

I started to cry then, too, for all that she had been through. For the moment, I was ignoring the fact that she was an addict, alcoholic, raped regularly and a sociopath.

"But then… Eddie found me. He was at his parents house, getting ready to sell it. He didn't want it, so he wanted a good price for it. He found me lying in the streets on the way to the agency and brought me to a hotel where he cleaned me up and bought me new clothes. He told me to wait there and try not to do anything stupid. I did something stupid anyway. I got in a fight with a bellhop and got arrested. He bailed me out of jail and cleaned me up again for my trail, they, obviously, said I was innocent but had to pay a fine. Eddie paid it for me. He then forced me on a plane to Montana and back to the academy. My year had already graduated but he made me stay anyway, took away all my coke and forbade me from getting any more. He made me had private training with Alberta and Stan, who swore not to tell anyone, and they eventually told me I could get my promise mark. I did and Lissa took me back graciously. I didn't let her pay me for the first year, just let her let me use her house and eat her food. A couple years later, she took all of us to New York. We've been here since, although, every now and then, I still have the urge to…"

She couldn't finish the sentence without crying again. I held her close to my chest and played with a loose strand of hair that was splayed across her back.

"Roza, I'll always love you, no matter what you've done. Remember that," I whispered.

She sobbed into my chest even harder and I held her, crying a little into her hair. Back in the wild west, a man could never cry. That's what I loved about my time. A man could cry and would only be judged slightly.

We stayed like that for several more hours until the sun began to set behind the low hills and stores in Mamaroneck.

She kissed my chest softly. "We should go," she whispered.

"They'll be looking for us," I agreed. I helped her up and helped her limp along to the car. She had hurt her ankle while fencing but hadn't noticed it until later. I frowned when she went around to the drivers seat.

"Rose, maybe I should drive," I announced. She shot me a glare but immediately softened and went around the car to the passengers. We, apparently, weren't changing like we had before.

I slipped into the drivers side seat and started up the car. I turned on the air conditioning slightly before going back out to grab the bags. I loaded them into the trunk and went back to the car. I took Rose's hand and held it on the seat. She shuddered and I squeezed her fingers.

We drove back to the apartment and parked the car in a different lot. We walked slowly back to her building and paused in the elevator before pressing her button. We traveled upstairs at a sluggish pace and when we finally reached her floor, we got out and opened apartment 3C.

Christian sat on the dining table in the far left of the room with a book in his hand. Eddie was sitting on the couch, watching him. Vasilisa was nowhere to be found. They both looked up when we walked in, but Eddie said nothing.

"Rose, Lissa wants to talk to you," Christian said. "Both of you."

I nodded.

"She's right in her room."

I went to the only door I hadn't been in or seen in the apartment yet and opened it, bringing Rose with me. The princess sat on the bed and smiled when she saw us.

"Hey, Rose, I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I shouldn't have said anything like that. I'm happy you're together… And Dimitri," she said, facing me. "I'm sorry to you as well. I mean you no disrespect."

I nodded in understanding and Rose looked at me. I knew what they look meant. I quickly left the room to let the two girls talk it out.

I retreated straight to Rose's room and plopped down on her bed. I closed my eyes and sleep instantly consumed me.

_Ping._

**Alright, the ping has nothing to do with anything. For those of you who've read **_**Specials**_**, you understand. Please tell me what you think about how messed up Rose is. You realize that she did all of this because Dimitri left her, right? Stupid man. Lol, review please!**

**-Zoë**


	4. Chapter 4

**Alright, I assume you all read my authors note. If you didn't go back and read it now. I'm sorry about that, and I'll delete it after the next couple of chapters, but I'm leaving it up for now as a reminder. Just think about it.**

**-Zoë**

**P.S. Warning! Lemon! Dimitri gets what he wants… Tell me if it needs improvement, because I suck. Kindly, please!**

Eleanor Rigby, The Beatles

_Ah, look at all the lonely people_

_Ah, look at all the lonely people_

_Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been_

_Lives in a dream_

_Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door_

_Who is it for?_

_All the lonely people_

_Where do they all come from?_

_All the lonely people_

_Where do they all belong?_

_Father McKenzie writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear_

_No one comes near. _

_Look at him working_

_Darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there_

_What does he care?_

_All the lonely people_

_Where do they all come from?_

_All the lonely people_

_Where do they all belong?_

_Ah, look at all the lonely people_

_Ah, look at all the lonely people_

_Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name_

_Nobody came_

_Father Mackenzie wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave_

_No one was saved_

_All the lonely people_

_Where do they all come from?_

_All the lonely people_

_Where do they all belong?_

DPOV

_I felt her hair tickle my chin as she slowly slid up next to me on the bed. I put my arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to me. I pulled her face closer to mine and kissed her gently._

_She climbed on top of me and started kissing me from above, her hair spreading across my face. I cupped her face gently, and when I noticed she wasn't breathing, pushed her away and set her down next to me She sighed._

_There was a long silence between us before she spoke again._

"_Dimitri, why don't you want me?" She asked._

_I sighed. "It's not that I don't want you, I just need to always be…"_

"_Alert. Aware. Focused. Well, you're not fucking focused when you're asleep, Dimitri!" I felt her palm across my face in a harsh, degrading slap. I ignored the fresh pain in my cheek and lifted myself out of bed._

"_Just shut up. I _will_ quit next time you do that!" I threatened._

"_Dimitri, we all know that's not the real reason," she argued. "Tell me the real reason you won't fuck me."_

_I glared at her and grasped the door handle. "I won't fuck you because I don't love you, Tasha. And if I did, I wouldn't be fucking you."_

I sat up as the lightning cracked the sky in a frenzy of light and sound. The dream was still clear in my head as I saw that Rose was asleep next to me, curled up in a ball around a pillow and shivering furiously.

I pulled up the sheet to her chin and slowly pulled the pillow from her grasp to put under her head. I then pulled up the duvet and covered her with it, just leaving enough room for me to kiss her on the forehead.

"I love you," I whispered in her ear before getting up and walking out the door. I realized I probably should have put a shirt on before going to the kitchen but I assumed nobody would be up. But Christian was sitting in his maroon armchair with a book in his hand and his reading glasses on. He looked distressed.

"Want to talk about it?" I asked. In the five days that I had been with them, Christian and I had become good friends, talking like we had known each other forever.

He shrugged. "Lissa thinks she might be pregnant."

My eyebrows raised. "That's great!"

He shook his head. "I'm not sure if I'm ready to be a father yet. But what can I do? I'm not going to leave her, obviously, and I can't ask her to get an abortion."

I considered for a moment. "Well, if it doesn't work out, you can always put it up for adoption if she lets you. And you have all of us for support," I offered.

He nodded. "Yeah, that's true. Thanks."

I nodded. I went to the counter and jumped over the top instead of going around and swung open the fridge. I pulled out a carton of juice and poured it into a glass. I put the juice back and took a sip from the glass. I looked at Christian.

"Hey, did you spike this?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Maybe. I don't remember. It might have been Adrian."

I poured the remainder of the juice down the sink and put the glass with it.

I said goodnight to Christian before going back into the room to find a scared looking Rose sitting on the bed.

The rain pounded on the window and a boom of thunder made her jump. I instantly went to her side and pulled her into me. She put her head on my shoulder and I laid my arm around her waist.

"What is it?" I asked.

She trembled as the next boom thunder crashed through the room. "I don't like storms. I remember they were the worst part of nights on the streets when…" She stopped and I kissed the side of her head.

"It's alright, Roza. You don't have to worry anymore. I'm here…"

"But that's why I'm scared," she whispered. "After all that I've done, why, if there is a god, would He bring you to me? I love you and you're perfect, which I what I don't understand. I don't deserve this," she mumbled.

"Oh, Roza, if there's a god, He brought me to you because he thinks you deserve a second chance," I reassured her.

She turned her face into my chest and kissed my shoulder blade. "Thank you." She placed another kiss there and I felt the heat build up in my cock. I tried willing it to calm down, but it did no good. She shifted onto my waist and kissed my neck. Soon, my cock was aching and in the desperate need of _something_. But I couldn't make her do that. When she started moving down, I had to stop her.

"Rose…"

"Dimitri, don't say that. I haven't done this in… I can't even remember. It was such a long time since I was even touched by a man before you came back. Please just let me… do this," she begged.

I couldn't deny her any longer. I released her shoulders and her head went farther down, kissing the top of my sweatpants. I shivered and the lump beneath her hands enlarged even more. She gently pulled down the fabric, over my cock and to my ankles. I stepped out of them and kicked them to the side as her hands ran along my length. I couldn't see her face and I wanted to know what she was thinking more than ever.

She paused for a moment before taking me in her mouth and started out slowly with quick, little bursts every now and then. I couldn't believe how wonderful it felt, having her with me. I realized that I loved her and I frequently thought about this, but I never thought this would happen. I put one hand in her hair to brace myself and guide her.

It seemed to take so little time, and soon I came in her mouth, bliss taking over me and every fiber of my being. I helped her up and handed her a glass of water to rinse her mouth. She smiled at me, her brightest smile she had put on since I'd been with her, and took the water. She had it down in one gulp and put the glass down on the table beside the bed. I pulled on my pants and sat down again, the bliss slowly fading.

She laid down on the bed and I curled up next to her, letting her head rest on my arm. She kissed it lightly before closing her eyes and smiling. She wasn't asleep yet, I knew that, but I didn't want to disturb her. I gently lifted her head from my arm as I walked to the window to look at the pouring rain. In the distance, I could almost see the playground that was the apartment's property. Lightening bounced through the air just so I could see the swings, moving heavily with the wind, being turned in every direction and whatnot.

Rose sighed. "What are you doing, Dimitri?"

I paused a moment before answering. "Just looking out the window."

"Come back to bed."

The offer was too tempting to resist. My mind was stilled boggled and the air around me swirled in dizzying patterns. I climbed back onto the bed and pulled the covers over my legs. She climbed into my arms and laid on my chest until her breathing evened out and she stopped drawing patterns on my hands.

But I couldn't sleep. I hadn't slept in over four days due to the thoughts waiting to be addressed in my head. I saved the worst for last, although it was still hard to think about.

Tonight was the coke.

My girl, Roza, strung out on coke? Impossible. Preposterous. The complete truth. I had talked to Eddie and he had confirmed everything that she had said. Although, her trial hadn't gone _exactly_ the way she said, since she was buzzed throughout it, Eddie had to speak for her except when she was being questioned. I realized that I owed him a lot, whether I liked it or not.

But I had a few things I had to figure out. Was Rose still on the drugs? She would always be an addict, however long she had been off the shit. She may not drink, but she'll always be an alcoholic. These are things that you can't get rid of, can't reverse. I had seen the scars on her neck and hip; they weren't pretty. She was covered in cuts and bruises, I imagined from trying to stop her mind from thinking about the need for the coke, but that was no way to do it.

She also had a scar on the back of her thigh. She had said it was from the first night she was raped. One of the only things she remembered was the man saying that he had to leave his mark. She also said it was one of her biggest regrets that she didn't try to stop him.

But my mind quickly wandered to five years ago, when I told her I was leaving. What would have happened if I'd have stayed? Would we have ended up together after she graduated, perhaps? I had no clue, and it was killing me.

Rose shifted off my chest and onto the other side of the bed. I spooned her from behind, wrapping my arms around her waist. She sighed in contentment and I smiled.

I didn't think she was still on the drugs. No, she was off them, but not happy about it. She was just lucky she didn't end up doing methamphetamine or heroin, because then, surely, she would be dead.

And what about Adrian? Where did he fit into all of this? I hadn't seen him yet since I got to New York, and I was hoping to keep it that way. Maybe he would stay away since he knew I was back. It would make it a helluva lot easier for me if he just left the country. Went back to Turkey and said high to his Mother every once in a while.

I slowly drifted off to sleep, thinking.


	5. Chapter 5

Before I say anything, I must tell you about my other story which my partner has been bugging me about. It's called _The New Past: The Darkest Moon _and it's for _Warriors_ if any of you guys read that stuff. We, so far, have a whopping ZERO comments, views or acknowledgements of any kind, so I would appreciate it if you at least looked at it. I write most of the story and my friend just writes occasionally, but that's okay. The account name is _And Pidgeons Fly354. _Just give it a try, please!

So, I've finally finished my midterms and since the play is going on at my school, I'm on a homework hiatus! WOOOO! That means I get to write that much more!

And also, thank you for all the awesome comments! It totally makes up for all the crap comments I've been getting!

Now, onto the story!

-Zoë

**I Don't Love You**_**,**_** My Chemical Romance**

_**Well, when you go,**_

_**So never think I'll make you turn to stay.**_

_**And maybe when you get back,**_

_**I'll be off to find another way.**_

_**When after all this time that you still owe,**_

_**You're still the good-for-nothin', I don't know.**_

_**So take your gloves and get up,**_

_**Baby, get up**_

_**While you can!**_

_**When you go,**_

_**Would you even turn to say,**_

_**"I don't love you**_

_**Like I did**_

_**Yesterday!"?**_

_**Sometimes I'll cry so hard from pleading,**_

_**So sick and sad of all the needless beating.**_

_**But baby, when they knock you**_

_**Down and out,**_

_**It's where you oughta stay.**_

_**And after all the blood that you still owe**_

_**Another dollar's just another blow.**_

_**So fix your eyes and get up,**_

_**Baby, get up**_

_**While you can!**_

_**Whoa, who-o-oaha-ha!**_

_**When you go,**_

_**Would you even turn to say,**_

_**"I don't love you**_

_**Like I did**_

_**Yesterday!"?**_

_**Well, come on, come on!**_

_**When you go,**_

_**Would you have the guts to say,**_

_**"I don't love you**_

_**Like I loved you**_

_**Yesterday-hay-hay!"? Oh-oh!**_

_**"I don't love you**_

_**Like I loved you**_

_**Yesterday-hay-hay!"**_

_**"I don't love you**_

_**Like I loved you**_

_**Yesterday!"**_

DPOV

"_I just don't, Tasha."_

"_But I love you!"_

"_I got that." I rubbed the right side of my face with the hand and sighed. "Listen, if this is going to keep going on, then I can't guard you anymore," I said stoically._

_She froze. "You would… quit? You can't quit!"_

"_Why not?" I asked innocently._

"_Because! I've known you since we were kids! We were best friends until-"_

"_Until you ruined it. You tried to separate Rose and I, and the only reason I came to guard you was so that you would leave her alone. I haven't talked to her since Easter of two years ago. Whose fault is that besides the one who won't let me use the phone?"_

_She shook her head. "Fine. Call her. Tell her you love her. Then what? Are you going to ditch me to go and put the Lissa chick in danger by being around her? That's what I thought. Just give up, Dimitri," she said quietly._

_Goose bumps invaded my skin and I shivered at her tone. "I'm never going to give up."_

_I left her there in silence._

I sighed when I realized it was another dream. Rose stirred beside me and I put my hand on her side. She calmed down. I kissed the crook between her neck and shoulder and worked my way up to her lips. When I finally reached them, she giggled and I laughed with her. She kissed me back for a while until I broke away to breathe.

"Now _that's _a great way to get up," she croaked.

I frowned. She didn't sound good.

"Are you feeling okay?" I asked, running a hand over her forehead. She was warm, more like burning up.

She smiled. "Great. What's on today's agenda?" She asked as she sat up.

I gently pushed her back down. "It consists of me taking your job while you drink orange juice and watch sappy soap operas all day."

She frowned. "Why?"

"You're sick," I elaborated.

"No I'm not."

"Yes, you _are_. Now stay here, get in some… clothes, and I'll bring you breakfast," I said, looking at her naked body.

Last night was one of the best of my life. Although we didn't go all the way, we each pleasured each other in ways I didn't know possible. The princess had finally told Rose she was pregnant beforehand and they jumped around for a while until Christian grumpily pulled her back to their room in which they engaged in some loud and rowdy activities.

When I finally brought Rose to bed, she encouraged me to go on, and so I did. We ended up in each others arms for the entire night, nipping and kissing each other.

But now… I was just worried. I felt her forehead again and frowned heavily.

"Rose, I'll take your place. Don't worry, I get bored if I don't guard for a while. I don't mind," I said.

She finally nodded. "Okay. Just be careful. And can I get some soup?"

I smiled. Always hungry. I nodded and left the room while she changed and I got her tomato soup. I stirred it carefully and was pouring some tea when Christian came out of his room, smiling and ruffled. His hair was sticking up in all directions and he had lipstick smeared all over his face. I laughed.

"Fun night?" I asked.

"You've no idea. I'd get her pregnant over and over if I knew _this _was the type of reaction I would be getting," he laughed.

I laughed with him. "Don't worry, I think it's just the hormones."

I brought Rose her soup and when I handed it to her, I realized she was very pink in the face. Her hands trembled when she picked up the spoon and she dropped it as soon as she got it.

"Are you going to be okay?" I asked.

She nodded. "It's just the cold. I'll be fine when I'm more awake."

I nodded and leaned down. "Call me if there's something wrong," I whispered in her ear. I pressed my lips to her temple and she giggled.

"'Kay."

I gave her a quick kiss on the lips before I left the room.

The princess and Christian were sitting on the couch, kissing passionately. I turned to the kitchen to give them some privacy but they broke apart as soon as they noticed me.

"Where's Rose?" Vasilisa asked.

"Sick," I responded gruffly. "I'm taking her post today."

She nodded slowly and turned back to her husband.

"I'm going shopping, you want to come?" She asked him.

"That's what she said," I mumbled under my breath.

Christian laughed and Vasilisa looked between the two of us, confused. I shook my head.

"Nothing to be worried about. I'm not here," I said graciously.

She nodded again and turned back to Christian.

"Well?"

He stifled a laugh and shook his head. "Sorry, I'm going off to Orange County to meet with Adrian and the students today."

"Oh, right!" She said with a laugh. "I totally forgot. Well, have fun."

I paused for a moment. "So… who do I go with?" I asked.

The princess frowned. "Rose usually goes to the meetings, so you can go and Eddie will come with me."

I nodded and opened the fridge. She retreated into her room to get dressed and I pulled out the spiked orange juice and poured it into a glass, mixing it with water from the faucet and downed it. Christian laughed at me.

"You're on duty, dude!" He exclaimed jokingly.

I raised an eyebrow. "So, what? Alcohol has been proven to help the majority of humans who aren't morning people. Coffee can go fuck itself."

He laughed again. "I don't think that's possible, dude."

"What, coffee fucking itself?"

"No, the alcohol thing."

"Well, believe it man, because it does wonders for you legs," I said, showing him my twitching leg. "It causes the nerves in your body to-"

"I don't need to hear this!" He exclaimed loudly as Vasilisa walked into the room.

"Hear what?"

"His alcohol theory," he mumble-laughed.

"It's not a theory, Fire-boy!"

The princess rolled her eyes. "Stop fooling around. You have to be there in an hour."

"Liss, it takes a half an hour to get there," Christian moaned.

"You have to pick up Adrian," she insisted.

My eyes widened. A half an hour in the car with _him?_ In the gym, or wherever we were going, I could avoid him easily, but when I was two feet from him, he was hard to ignore.

I stayed silent despite my inner turmoil and followed Christian out the door after he kissed the princess goodbye. We went down the elevator and got into his black Mercedes and drove across the street. He got out quickly and rang a doorbell before getting back into the drivers seat.

The tall and lanky Adrian came outside, dressed in casual slacks and a green sweatshirt. I scowled at him although he couldn't see it through the tinted windows. He went to my door and opened it, expecting to see an empty seat. He gave a startled cough and closed the door quickly only to get in the back seat.

"Hey, Adrian," Christian greeted. He didn't respond, still in shock from my appearance.

"Okay, well, not meaning to be rude or anything, but what are you doing here, Belikov?" Adrian basically growled.

"For your information, _Prince _Ivashkov, I work part time for the Ozera's now. Is there a problem with that?"

He shook his head slightly and we all sat there in an awkward silence. This was going to be the longest half hour of my entire life.


	6. Authors Note: I'm Sorry

I love you guys, so much, and that is why I am extremely sorry. Life has just started kicking my ass lately. Finals, parents, moving, everything. But the exciting news? I finished Spirit Bound. The depressing news? I'm depressed because I finished Spirit Bound. Ironic, isn't it?

But, basically, the story itself was extremely depressing as well. With Dimitri and Adrian and arresting Rose for murdering Tatiana…

Whoops.

But, uh, yeah. It was great. Despite my depression, I loved it with all my heart. My favorite is still Shadow Kiss, Blood Promise follows a close second, then the first one, then Spirit Bound, then Frostbite. What can I say? They had like, two make out scenes in FB and they were both short and not really descriptive at all. But you know…

So, as I waist time jabbering away, it is 12:25 am, I finished Spirit Bound about a half an hour ago, which would be on May 19th, 11:55 pm. Hm.

One thing I have to address is the stories. They will be continued. Hopefully. But, right now, I started a freelance writing class and we were instructed to write something… and it was cool. So I made it into a story and it's now on FanFiction. It's on my profile, it's called _The Wolf Thief_. It's basically about this chic who is kidnapped from her house and forced to work for an agency that mutates wolves. I encourage you to read it, I own everything, yadda yadda yadda.

Okay, so my request of you right this very minute is to leave me a review: anything. Tell me how your feeling right now. Tell me that you're angry at me for not updating, or that your happy to hear I'm not dead. Anything.

Thanks so much for sticking with me all this time. I owe you guys. A lot.

Your beloved FanFiction writer, Zoë.

P.S. I LOVE YOU.


	7. Chapter 6

**I am disappointed. Uninspired. My brain is melting, you could say. I'm finding it harder and harder to concentrate every day. Truth be told, I think I'm done with **_**Blood Promise**_**. I shall write the next chapter, but that's it. You know, it's hard having to write four stories at the same time while one totally unrelated is plaguing your mind and force you to write.**

**Don't be offended, I love you guys, and I think my trip that I'm on right now has helped me loosen up **_**a lot**_**, but you know.**

**Love you.**

**-Zoë**

Cold Desert, Kings Of Leon

_I'm on a corner, waiting for a light to come on_

_That's when I know you're alone_

_It's cold in the desert, water never sees the ground_

_Special unspoken without sound_

_Told me you loved me, that I'd never die alone_

_Hand over your heart, let's go home_

_Everyone noticed, everyone has seen the signs_

_I've been known to the cross lines_

_I've never ever cried when I was feeling down _

_I've always been scared of the sound_

_Jesus don't love me, no one ever carried my load_

_I'm too young to feel this old_

_Here's to you, here's to me_

_On to us, nobody knows_

_Nobody sees, nobody but me_

We all got out of the car, flustered and angry. I resisted the urge to punch someone, preferably Ivashkov, and walked into the gym. There were students sitting around, some dhampir, some moroi. Most people ignored me but some turned their heads in awe as they recognized who I was.

Christian and Ivashkov walked in quickly after and told everyone to stand.

"Where's Guardian Hathaway?" A female moroi asked.

"She's sick. Instead, we have Guardian Dimitri Belikov with us." The remaining who didn't recognize me at first all looked and stared. I squirmed a little bit inside under their stares but quickly blanked them all out.

"Alright, let's get started. First, run around the gym for ten minutes. I'll be timing you." He motioned to begin and clicked something on his watch before coming over to me.

"Sorry about the class. When they first saw Rose, they were all over her. I'm surprised they didn't rape you where you stand."

I laughed and a few heads turned. I stopped quickly. "What should I do?"

He frowned. "Usually, Rose just helps the kids who are having trouble. I guess you could do the same."

I nodded and we turned back to the students. Some were already heaving even after just two minutes and I had to control myself from rolling my eyes. Rose wouldn't heave even after twenty laps.

When the ten minutes was over, a few moroi collapsed to the ground and their supposed training guardians helped them up.

"Water break!" Christian called. The dhampirs who claimed they didn't need water gathered around us and Christian recapped the punching figure. I started laughing when he fell and twisted his ankle and even Ivashkov had a little chuckle.

I helped him to his feet and continued teaching in his place for a while before he suggested we move onto magic. I stepped back.

It was really quite entertaining. I watched all the moroi struggle in killing their dummies with either water, fire, air or earth and even learned a thing or two.

Finally, the class was over. Christian dismissed the students and walked outside. I followed him and the douche bag was close behind.

"You want to go out for lunch?" Christian asked.

Adrian shrugged. "Only if you're paying," he said with a smirk.

I shook my head. "I want to check on Rose. You guys can eat and I'll pick you up later, if you want," I suggested.

Christian shook his head as well. "It's okay. You don't need to do that, we'll all go back now."

Adrian rolled his eyes a sighed heavily, taking out a cigarette. I wrinkled my nose unconsciously and looked away.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

We all got in the car and went back to Larchmont slowly, in silence. As soon as the apartment building came into sight, I grabbed my bag and got out right as the car stopped.

I was so eager to see Rose that I forgot that I didn't have the key and ended up waiting at the door as an amused looking Christian approached me.

"Where's the annoying alcoholic?" I asked, resisting the urge to roll my eyes at his expression.

"He's walking home. He doesn't like your attitude towards him," he said lamely, chuckling lightly.

"Whatever. He can deal with it," I grumbled.

Christian shook his head with a light smile on his face, unlocking the door.

I ran upstairs and knocked.

RPOV

The entire day, I sat in bed and watched random soap operas, waiting for Dimitri to come home. I truly felt a lot better than I did this morning, so I was considering asking him to take me out… I know, I was direct.

When the knock came, I almost jumped out of bed and sprinted to the door, but I controlled myself; barely.

As I opened the door, I could barely contain my excitement about seeing him again. He had only been gone a couple hours, but I knew what it felt like to be alone. It wasn't fun.

His waiting smile melted my insides. He took me into an embrace and I rested my cheek against his shoulder, nuzzling my face into his neck.

"Someone looks better," he mumbled.

"I am."

He pulled back for a moment and put his hand up to my forehead. "And feels better."

I nodded happily. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, skimming his tongue against my lower lip. I sighed in contentment and for the first time in a very long time, I felt like I had absolutely nothing to worry about, no secrets to have to tell, no arguments, no worry.

No alcohol.

_Fuck!_

I had forgotten to tell him about my… issue. I had already told him so much that I was worried that if I told him another terrible thing about me, he would leave me.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck!_

I stiffened for only an instant, but he noticed like he always used to.

"Roza?" He questioned softly.

I frowned into his chest and he ran his fingers softly through my knotted hair.

"I need to talk to you." I took his hand and led him into my bedroom and pushed him down so he would sit down on the bed. I paced up and down in front of the TV and Dimitri watched me patiently, staring at me for long amounts of time.

After at least ten minutes of wondering how to breech the subject, Dimitri spoke up.

"Tell me what's wrong, Roza. I promise I won't get mad, whatever it is," he said with a slight smile.

I scowled at the floor. "Maybe not, but you may leave and not want to come back."

"Never."

I looked up at him. His face was full of compassion, beauty -as always- and confusion. When I saw the love there, I burst into tears, falling into a crumpled heap on the floor.

He stood and walked towards me quickly, sinking to his knees and pulling my head up from my hands so he could look at me. His eyes were sad and that alone made me feel like my secret was ruining lives.

"Roza… if you don't want to tell me, you don't have to, but if you want to, you can. I'll be dying in agony and curiosity if you don't…" I think it was supposed to be a joke, but that's what it would be like. Him wondering, me feeling bad and thinking he was coming up with bad conclusions…

I cried even harder then, and he apologized profusely. Over and over again.

"Just tell me, Roza. I promise I won't do anything… drastic," he said, cradling my cheeks between his hands. He pulled out his legs from underneath him and crossed them, pulling me onto his lap so I was straddling him, but in a comfortable and nonsexual way.

I rested my forehead on his chin and took a deep breath.

"I didn't tell you that I was- am an alcoholic, did I?" I murmured.

We wore a curious face, one of confusion, sadness and relief.

I mirrored it. There was no anger there.

I looked at him for a moment. "Aren't you going to tell me that I'm horrible and a monster and I should go die in hell? That's what Christian said," I mumbled.

He gaped at me. "Well, Rose, I kind of figured."

I frowned. "What?"

"You were living on the streets, a coke addict, getting raped weekly. How would you not have become an alcoholic?" he asked softly.

I frowned again. "That's not what I meant," I whispered, again filled with fear.

"Then what did you mean?"

I buried my face against his chest. "I've been sober for about… five days."

He stiffened again, holding me tighter to his chest.

"Fuck."

I kept my face against his chest and refused to move until he said something positive.

"So… about the time I came back?" He whispered into my hair.

I nodded solemnly.

He breathed deeply, making my head feel warm with his breath.

"Then I guess I can't leave."

Relief flooded my body so quickly that I thought I might cry again.

"But what if you get tired of me?" I asked, millions of questions going through my mind.

"Never."

"What if you get a new charge?"

"I'll deny them."

"What if-"

"Stop, Roza!" He interrupted, crushing his lips to mine. I forgot how to breathe as his tongue tangled with mine, his hands forcing their way into my hair and around my waist. The comfortable straddle we were in moments ago turned into a sexual one in seconds. My hands were on his chest and under his shirt and I started to move against him, rubbing my hips for friction. He grabbed hold of my hips to keep me still while still kissing me frantically.

I ran my hands down his chest, stopping unwillingly where his jeans met his hips. He pulled one hand out from my hair to grab my wrists and hold them over my head. His lips fell from mine and I whimpered at the lack of connection, but they only moved lower, to my cheek, then glided along to my neck. I closed my eyes and sighed in pleasure, trying to pull my hands out of his hold, but his hand stayed firm.

He broke away from me suddenly, breathing heavily and I sighed.

"Don't ever talk like that, Roza. I will _never_ leave you." He kissed the top of my head and silent tears ran down my face.

"I love you," he whispered gently. I smiled discreetly.

"Love you more," I mumbled against his chest.

"Not a chance."

**Om nom nom. Aren't they so ca-yute? Just kidding.**

**Okay, okay, I know you have some questions as to why Rose totally overreacted to being an alcoholic. This scene up to the part where they start making out is based on the scene of a different fanfiction, one whose name I cannot reveal. It is totally unrelated to VA and I did not copy and paste, but I couldn't get a proper reaction from Rose when I tried to do it myself. Oh well. You can see how much of a writer's block I have.**

**Anyway, onto more important things…**

**I need a beta.**

**It's really hard going over your own work and catching your own mistakes if you don't know that they're mistakes, do you know what I mean?**

**So, do I have any volunteers? No? Is that a hand I see raised?**

**And no, Jess, you can **_**not**_** be my beta. Your grammar sucks as it is. No offense. Great ideas, terrible grammar.**

**Well, thank you to my readers and **_**reviewers**_**, if you know what I mean.**

**-Zoë**


	8. Chapter 7

**Rawr. I know, I'm so special. Well, what can I say here… nothing much. Thanks to my unofficial beta, Little Daphamir, and I'm sorry to the girl who I scared off with my uber long paragraphs and requests to text me. *chuckles* Well, let's get on with it.**

**-Zoë**

**P.S. This is a really great song and I advise you listen to it. No, seriously. I know you're not listening to it. Seriously, if you can go on FF, you can go to YouTube. Do it. You listening now? I know you're not. Oh well. But seriously.**

Love Me Dead, Ludo

_Love me cancerouslyLike a salt-sore soaked in the sea.'High maintenance' meansYou're a gluttonous and me my soul with vomit,Then ask me for a piece of and dumb;You're my 're awful, I love you!(Chorus)She moves through moonbeams slowlyShe knows just how to hold meAnd when her edges softenHer body is my coffinI know she drains me slowlyShe wears me down to bones in bedMust be the sign on my headThat says, oh...Love me dead!Love me dead!You're a faith-healer on T.'re an office park without any treesCorporate and coldGushing for goldLeave me suck so passionatelyYou're a parasitic psycho, filthy creatureFinger-bangin' my heartYou call me up drunkDoes the fun ever start?You're hideous and sexy!She moves through moonbeams slowlyShe knows just how to hold meAnd when her edges softenHer body is my coffinI know she drains me slowlyShe wears me down to bones in bedMust be the sign on my headThat says, oh...Love me dead!Love me dead!Rawl! Uhng!Love me cancerously.*whistles*Brrrot-dot-da-d-da-da!Brrrot-dot-da-d-da-da!How's your new boy?Does he know about me?You've got the mark of the 're born of a jackal! You're beautiful!She moves through moonbeams slowlyShe knows just how to hold meAnd when her edges softenHer body is my coffinI know she drains me slowlyShe wears me down to bones in bedWha' 'bout that sign on my head!That says, oh...Love me dead!Love me dead!Love me dead!Love me dead!Oh... Love me dead!_

DPOV

I held her in my arms for the rest of the night and we didn't say much besides the occasional "I love you."

Eventually, we moved to the bed and I stroked her hair and whispered things to her as she cried in her sleep. She was such a wreck; I knew that if I ever left, she would surely break. It was an upsetting thought. But then again, I never planned to leave.

At around midnight, Rose's crying had died down and I was getting extremely overheated. I carefully released myself from her hold and walked over to the window, opening it up, only to close it when I realized that there was a storm going on outside.

Her form stirred and I tensed, waiting for her to get up and scold me for being out of bed. But then I remembered. _She isn't Tasha_.

She didn't wake up. I sighed in relief even though I knew she wouldn't do anything. I sat down on the edge of the bed and held my head in my hands. How was this going to work? I know we said we would get the same time off and try not to be distracted by each other when we were guarding together, but it surely couldn't be that easy.

I laid back on the pillow and sighed. What was I supposed to do? I certainly wasn't going to leave for Lissa's sake but I couldn't be around her when I was guarding. It wouldn't make sense for us to have separate shifts because then we would never see each other.

I grabbed my hair in frustration.

_Go with the flow, Dimka, _my sister had said to me once. I could do that. Go with the flow.

I released my hair and backed up so that my back was against the headboard. Rose was curled up against my legs and I resisted the urge the drag her up to me to kiss her. She really was beautiful.

I sighed and she stirred again, opening her eyes this time. She smiled up at me lazily and grabbed one of my hands with both of hers. I squeezed and she giggled, squeezing back. I smiled happily.

She squirmed her way up to sit next to me, snuggling her face into my shoulder.

Rose had never been an affectionate person, especially back at the academy. I had never even seen her hug Lissa, let alone snuggle with her. So I was happy to oblige, releasing my hand from hers and putting it around her waist so I could pull her closer.

"Hi," she murmured, putting her arm on my stomach.

"Hey," I said back, kissing the side of her head.

"Whatchya doin'?" she asked with a grin.

"Just thinking."

"About what?"

"You," I confessed.

Her grin grew larger as I said that, her eyes crinkling up around the edges.

"I was thinking about you too," she mumbled back, sounding embarrassed.

I chuckled, drawing her even closer to me.

This, apparently, wasn't enough for her as she climbed on top of me, straddling my waist as her hands made their way to my chest.

I faltered. She had just been in hysterics, and now she was ready to jump me.

He hands roamed my body, going down just enough to have me straining against my pajama pants. She could feel and she knew what I wanted. But did she really want it?

"Roza…" I sighed, getting ready to push her to the side.

She rolled her eyes. "Dimitri, is there something you want to say? Because if there is, just spit it out. Why won't you sleep with me? Is it because you don't want me?" Tears started to form in her eyes again and I couldn't bear to put her back in hysterics.

"Roza, I love you and I want you more than you realize. But are _you_ ready? Do _you_ really want to be that close to somebody again? Because if you wanted to, I could live without the sex. Are you just trying to prove something to yourself by sleeping with me?" I asked softly, not wanting to upset her.

She looked at me in astonishment and I thought I had gotten it right before she pulled away, rolling over to the other side of the bed and getting up. She walked around to my side, glaring at me for a moment before putting on a mask. A Guardian mask.

"I'm not going to dignify that with a response," she stated before turning around and closing the window I opened. "Without doing that first," she continued, surprising me.

I opened my mouth but she put a finger over my lips.

"Listen up." She set her lips and I was suddenly very afraid. "I'm not throwing myself at you to prove to myself that I'm ready. I throw myself at you because I _am_ ready. I'm not just some little girl who won't have sex with her boyfriend because she's afraid it will destroy her innocence. I'm far from innocent, Dimitri. I've done things that you wouldn't have thought about doing in your entire life. It's not your place to decide whether or not I'm _ready_," she finished, putting her hands on her hips and cocking one to the side.

I grew unbelievably harder as she stood there, acting like the Guardian she was. I found it difficult not to grab her from where she stood and ravish her from head to toe, and after a minute I gave into the temptation.

I stood, putting an arm behind her back and kicking her legs out from under her at just the right angle so I caught her perfectly. She gasped and didn't have time for another reaction before I set her on the bed and crawled over her. I leaned on my elbows and cradled her face in my hands. I held her hips in between my knees and gently leaned down to touch my lips to hers.

"Well, if that's the way you feel, than I've wanted you all along," I admitted.

I pressed my lips to hers again before she could say anything and deepened the kiss from sweet to ferocious. She kissed me back, just as hard and tangled her fingers into my hair and let it out of its ponytail. I slid my tongue into her mouth and held back a smile. She was _mine_.

I spread her legs open with one of mine and settled myself there. She pulled on my head, bringing me even closer than I was before. I smiled. She wanted it really bad.

I released one of my hands from her face and brought it down to her jeans, rubbing her crotch. She moaned into my mouth and I was astonished at what so little could do to her. I continued to rub her gently and she moaned again, thrusting her hips upward.

She groaned. "Too many clothes," she complained.

I smiled but other than that, made no acknowledgment of her statement. I continued to rub her at the crotch of her jeans, kissing up her jaw and when getting to her ear, licking up the side and nibbling on the lobe. She moaned and I smiled at the newfound discovery of the sensitive spot.

She fisted her hands in my hair and pulled hard, then pushed me back down to her lips. I kissed her lovingly but still hard, hoping that she understood everything I was trying to convey in that kiss.

I finally sat upright and grabbed the hem of her shirt, pulling it up and over her head. She willingly lifted her arms and started kissing me before it was even all the way off. My hand automatically went to the bra that she hadn't discarded when we fell asleep and started rubbing her breast through it. She moaned again, trying to pull my mouth back to hers. But I had other ideas.

I reached around to her back and unclasped the bra so I had better access. I took it gently off her shoulders and nipped just below her armpit so she squirmed nervously and bucked her hips up towards me. I slowly made my way up to her left breast after teasing my way around it, licking and sucking all available spots. When I finally reached her nipple, she arched her back up to meet my mouth and I took her in eagerly, biting gently and using my other hand to tug and pull at her right breast. Only when she was whimpering from need did I finally tug down her sweatpants and discard them on the ground.

She was left in only her panties and I had to admit that she was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. She squirmed uncomfortably under my stare and tried to cover herself with her hands. I grabbed them both in one of mine and leaned on the other while I held them above her head.

"Don't hide yourself. You're beautiful. Plus, I've seen you naked before," I teased and saw her hold back a giggle.

I looked at her a moment more before she started to squirm again and I relented. I let go of her hands and they instantly went to my shirt, pulling it up and over my head. She then went for my jeans and struggled with the button for a moment before popping it open; unable to pull down my pants from her position under me I helped her out, sliding down my pants and pulling them off so both of us were only left in undergarments.

"Oh, God, I want you so bad," I whispered and she moaned.

I tugged on her panties and she lifted herself to help me get them off of her. When they were on the floor, I slid my finger through her folds, feeling the wetness there. I pulled my finger out and she whimpered again. I put my finger in my mouth and sucked.

"You taste so good," I whispered to her.

I carefully slid off my briefs and held my erection in my hand, about to position myself correctly.

"You sure, Roza?" I asked one last time.

She nodded and closed her eyes, her fingers clutching the sheets.

I took a deep breath and slid myself into her, waiting to see her reaction before moving any further.

She was tight and she felt so good it was ridiculous. Nobody should feel this amazing.

She hadn't moved an inch since I asked her if she was sure, and I was momentarily worried. But she hadn't said no or flinched, so I took that as a good sign.

I slid myself further in and then stopped when I could go no further. She was clutching the sheets tighter still and I put a hand on her face.

"Are you okay, Roza?"

"Dimitri… please," she whispered. I momentarily panicked but stopped when she continued. "Please… faster… more."

So I slid out, encouraged by her words and then slipped back in, easily, thankfully because of how wet she was. I continued this slow rhythm until she begged me again and I started to speed up. I was trying to keep my masculine need in control as I kissed every inch of her face and told her I loved her over and over again.

She was crying out at every thrust and bucking up her hips to meet mine in perfect synchronization. I felt her tightening around me as the heat built up in my groin. If she didn't come soon, then I was going to explode… literally.

I ran my hand down her belly and into her pubic hairs, working my way down to her clit. When I reached it, I rubbed it furiously, and then finally felt her explode around me, crying out softly. I leaned down and kissed her as I came, bliss exploding through my body. I collapsed on top of her, rolling to the side and sliding my arm around her to pull me towards her. I kissed her forehead gently and whispered I love you before we both fell into the deepest sleep of our lives.


End file.
